Errol: Loaded title, loaded topic. I admit ignorance to the definition of friend-zoned and the connotations. I want to add ‘pincers’ to my alliteration.
Errol, you should add “Platonic” to your alliteration.
E: oooooh…that’s a good P word!
You might think that last panel is Errol exaggeration, but that’s very much how he thinks of nicknames for my dates
This is why it’s much better just not to tell Errol you’re going on them 😛
I hate that term “friend-zoned” which shows not only my age but the disgust with making a joke about it. I was clueless back in school about which female friends liked me or liked me more than friends. I feel grateful we didn’t have that term to mess with people’s heads then. For the record, I delete those posts on Facebook that use it. It hurts both men and women no matter what age when it’s used.
Friendzoned ramblings. It does describe a relationship status between two people – I.e. person A has been found to be not of romantic interest to person B.
But person A may have created the conditions to be Friendzoned. I.e. fitness, grooming, not much personal development.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS: I think everyone gets friendzone evaluated by others upon first impression, and all subsequent interactions include a bit of a re-examination and often a re-confirmation of that initial assessment.
I think friendzoning can be a two way thing. In an age of tweeting it is a kind of shorthand.
It can be derogatory for sure. But that’s just haters hating.
I think the term pretty much implies that women “owe” men sex just because those men are nice to them (aka treat them like human beings). I have actually experienced guilt around this in a huge way, to the point where I feel bad being friendly or spending time with a guy that I want to be friends with because it’s basically synonymous with “leading them on” (thanks for that, pervasive societal attitudes). So yeah, as far as terms go, it is definitely an unbalanced one, and the views that drive it are pretty damaging.
Oh “friend zoned.” I let words slip way too easily without thinking about it.
I think “friend zoned” is fine, but it does get awkward if used in the wrong situations.
Debs, I agree with your analysis of the damaging effects of the concept of the “friendzone.” I just think it’s sad that there are so many men (and let’s face it; it’s overwhelmingly men who do this) that treat being friends like such a negative thing. Personally, I think friendship is really important and I’m a man who has friendships with a number of women that I value really highly. I’m sorry to hear about your experiences that made you feel bad about being friendly or spending time with guys; I think it’s worth reminding you that if a guy believes you owe him something in exchange for basic human decency, that’s more a reflection of his character than of anything you did “wrong.” Nobody ever owes anyone sex in any circumstances, no matter how much anyone did for anyone or how long you’ve known each other. Sex should be something that is shared between people that mutually enjoy it, not something that is “given” from one person to another.
Errol, you should add “Platonic” to your alliteration.
E: oooooh…that’s a good P word!
You might think that last panel is Errol exaggeration, but that’s very much how he thinks of nicknames for my dates
This is why it’s much better just not to tell Errol you’re going on them 😛
I hate that term “friend-zoned” which shows not only my age but the disgust with making a joke about it. I was clueless back in school about which female friends liked me or liked me more than friends. I feel grateful we didn’t have that term to mess with people’s heads then. For the record, I delete those posts on Facebook that use it. It hurts both men and women no matter what age when it’s used.
Friendzoned ramblings. It does describe a relationship status between two people – I.e. person A has been found to be not of romantic interest to person B.
But person A may have created the conditions to be Friendzoned. I.e. fitness, grooming, not much personal development.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS: I think everyone gets friendzone evaluated by others upon first impression, and all subsequent interactions include a bit of a re-examination and often a re-confirmation of that initial assessment.
I think friendzoning can be a two way thing. In an age of tweeting it is a kind of shorthand.
It can be derogatory for sure. But that’s just haters hating.
I think the term pretty much implies that women “owe” men sex just because those men are nice to them (aka treat them like human beings). I have actually experienced guilt around this in a huge way, to the point where I feel bad being friendly or spending time with a guy that I want to be friends with because it’s basically synonymous with “leading them on” (thanks for that, pervasive societal attitudes). So yeah, as far as terms go, it is definitely an unbalanced one, and the views that drive it are pretty damaging.
Oh “friend zoned.” I let words slip way too easily without thinking about it.
I think “friend zoned” is fine, but it does get awkward if used in the wrong situations.
Debs, I agree with your analysis of the damaging effects of the concept of the “friendzone.” I just think it’s sad that there are so many men (and let’s face it; it’s overwhelmingly men who do this) that treat being friends like such a negative thing. Personally, I think friendship is really important and I’m a man who has friendships with a number of women that I value really highly. I’m sorry to hear about your experiences that made you feel bad about being friendly or spending time with guys; I think it’s worth reminding you that if a guy believes you owe him something in exchange for basic human decency, that’s more a reflection of his character than of anything you did “wrong.” Nobody ever owes anyone sex in any circumstances, no matter how much anyone did for anyone or how long you’ve known each other. Sex should be something that is shared between people that mutually enjoy it, not something that is “given” from one person to another.