Hello all. Errol here. Sometimes I talk to support. Now, the thing is, I’ve been in support, so I don’t want to be nasty about things, but I also want them to be a bit more human with me. Sometimes, I’m successful. Sometimes I’m not. Here’s a support chat I just had the other day. They said they would email it to me, but they lied. I got an empty email. Fortunately, I saved it.
So, just in case you’re wondering, it’s not only to you that I do this to.
***Waiting for an agent to respond***
[08:50:23] *** Chat Session Opened ***
[08:50:23] You are chatting with FroilanT.
[08:50:40] FroilanT: Hello, Errol. You have successfully connected to your technical services operator. This is Froilan. Please wait one moment while I verify and review your information.
[08:51:11] FroilanT: Thank you for waiting.
[08:51:18] Errol: Allo
[08:51:40] FroilanT: Just to clarify, I understand that you want to cancel your hosting service, am I right?
[08:52:04] Errol: Yes, please. We don’t use it anymore. The person who owned it gave it up
[08:52:21] FroilanT: Thank you for that clarification. We are sorry to hear that.
[08:52:29] Errol: No worries.
[08:53:32] FroilanT: You may need to contact our billing department at 1 877 ### #### option 3 or email them at firstname.lastname@example.org.
[08:53:37] Errol: I have
[08:53:39] Errol: many times
[08:53:42] Errol: they keep sending me bills
[08:53:54] Errol: I just want to cancel please
[08:53:59] Errol: your the only person I can actually talk to
[08:54:08] Errol: woops
[08:54:12] Errol: Wrong *you’re
[08:54:13] Errol: sorry
[08:54:19] FroilanT: Sorry for that matter, please do try to email them at email@example.com because you are with the technical support department.
[08:54:48] Errol: Can’t you talk to them?
[08:54:51] Errol: THey won’t listen to me
[08:55:21] Errol: Can you at least go in
[08:55:26] Errol: and just erase the credit card number
[08:55:28] Errol: I mean, it’s old
[08:55:30] Errol: so it won’t work
[08:55:34] Errol: but they won’t listen to that either
[08:55:45] FroilanT: We do apologize but you may need to directly contact them to be able to cancel your hosting service. Since you are with the technical support department right now.
[08:55:57] Errol: Oh yes, I know
[08:56:03] Errol: aren’t you guys in the same office or anything?
[08:56:09] Errol: I got the whole Technical support department part ^_^
[08:56:35] Errol: I was hoping maybe, you could pop on down, to their cubicle, and say … “Hey! We have this annoying guy trying to cancel. Answer his email!”
[08:56:44] Errol: And then you can laugh about “Stupid customers”
[08:56:47] Errol: and then we’ll all be happy
[08:56:48] Errol: Win win
[08:57:00] Errol: This conversation is fun. Can I post it on the internet? Thanks!
[08:57:12] FroilanT: Did you already try the phone number and the email address?
[08:57:15] Errol: Ya
[08:57:40] Errol: Wait, I can’t remember if I called them. i call a bunch of people. I don’t know if I left a message or not. That was… like a month ago.
[08:58:06] Errol: Anyway, I’m assuming you guys aren’t in the same building. So no water cooler talk about the crazy customer.
[08:58:07] Errol: Sadly
[08:58:25] Errol: You can tell them that I had you on for like 10 minutes and I wouldn’t stop chatting.
[08:58:57] Errol: And then you can tell your co-workers “I’m not going on live chat anymore! They be crazies out there!”
[08:59:09] Errol: This is why I’m happy I don’t deal with customers at my job. Hah!
[08:59:23] Errol: I KID!… any… potential clients my company may have that would be reading this.
[08:59:25] Errol: Now I’m in trouble.
[08:59:26] Errol: Great.
[08:59:37] FroilanT: We understand how you feel about this matter.
[08:59:57] Errol: Bwahahahahaha. You sound like Eliza! That old AI psychology program. ^_^
[09:00:04] Errol: You… may not be old enough to understand that.
[09:00:13] Errol: Or, maybe you are! I can’t tell!
[09:00:41] Errol: I can just imagine the conversations happening on your side:
[09:00:51] FroilanT: I understand. Just trying to help.
[09:01:02] Errol: “Hey Boris! We got a lonely one here! He just likes talking!”
[09:01:11] Errol: Wait, you DO understand? You HAVE played that silly game?
[09:01:18] FroilanT: You may want to try the billing phone number first that I have provided.
[09:01:22] Errol: Do you play video games?
[09:01:32] Errol: Yes, I was given the billing number last time I chatted on this! So fun! ^_^
[09:01:59] Errol: I’m sorry, do you… multi-task with other live chat clients?
[09:02:08] Errol: I’m also assuming you’re just hired to do this and not really part of the company.
[09:02:14] Errol: That happened at one of my older jobs too.
[09:02:21] FroilanT: Please do try our billing department first to cancel your hosting service.
[09:02:24] Errol: So… I should let you get back to work.
[09:02:30] Errol: Because just like you’re not listening to me.
[09:02:33] Errol: I’m not listening to you!
[09:02:38] Errol: So we’re like… even. 😀
[09:02:47] Errol: You’re lucky I don’t start talking about Totoro or Doctor Who to you.
[09:02:53] Errol: Then things would just descend quickly.
[09:03:01] Errol: Today’s webcomic is about Weeping Angels.
[09:03:03] Errol: Hah!
[09:03:09] Errol: First time I’ve ever used animated gifs in a comic.
[09:03:10] Errol: OK.
[09:03:17] Errol: I can tell by your silence.
[09:03:27] Errol: That this conversation is going just about as well as conversations I’ve had with girls in high school.
[09:03:55] Errol: So I will let you go and talk to other customers.
[09:03:58] Errol: I know how it is.
[09:04:06] Errol: (I’m going to be like those sad guys on dates…”
[09:04:15] Errol: All the other live chats I’ve had ended up like this…
[09:04:22] Errol: They just wanted me to talk to someone else…
[09:04:36] Errol: Guess I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up…
[09:04:41] Errol: If you only would give me a chance….
[09:04:47] Errol: I’m a nice guy!
[09:04:49] Errol: …
[09:04:55] Errol: Wow, have I EVER tangented in this chat.
[09:05:32] FroilanT: I am confident our billing department can assist you with your concern and get it
resolved as soon as possible.
[09:05:32] Errol: Other chats email transcripts to the people’s email
[09:05:39] Errol: Hah, YOU’RE confident.
[09:05:42] Errol: You’re lying. Admit it
[09:05:45] Errol: BWAHAHAHAHA
[09:05:56] Errol: I am confident I will get ignored again. But this was fun!
[09:06:07] Errol: If you have a twitter, I can share this conversation with you on the twitter! ^_^
[09:06:21] Errol: Good bye! Have a good day! I think I saved my last chat with you guys somewhere
[09:06:36] FroilanT: Is there anything else you would like me to help you with today?
[09:06:53] Errol: Other than cancelling my subscription? Uh… do you have a favourite fandom?
[09:06:57] Errol: This is… my turing test.
[09:07:04] Errol: You could just be a bot, for all I know.
[09:07:11] Errol: I mean, look, not a single spelling mistake.
[09:07:20] Errol: I get bots talking to me all the time.
[09:07:26] Errol: Trying to make me feel all good about myself.
[09:07:34] Errol: And then they start inviting me to private chats and webcams…
[09:07:39] FroilanT: I can assure you that you are talking to a human.
[09:07:47] Errol: Favourite Fandom
[09:07:48] Errol: Go for it
[09:07:55] Errol: How can you be in Technical Support and not be a geek?
[09:08:07] Errol: Come on. You must like SOMETHING. ^_^
09:09:48] FroilanT: None so far.
[09:10:11] Errol: Wow. Life must be dull in technical support land. No worries.
[09:10:16] Errol: Have a good day! ^_^
[09:11:34] FroilanT: Is there anything else you would like me to help you with today?
[09:11:57] Errol: … Seriously. You expect me to believe you’re not a bot with that?
[09:12:19] Errol: I’m good. Thank you.